I'm Not That Girl
by Kimusume Kaoru
Summary: Don't wish, don't start. Wishing only wounds the heart. There's a girl I know. He loves her so... I'm not that girl.


Summary: "Don't wish, don't start. Wishing only wounds the heart. There's a girl I know. He loves her so... I'm not that girl." One-shot

**A/N:** Finally the one shot is here. I hope you can find out by yourself what kind of fanfic this is… I actually pulled in some of the things I wrote in my journal when I was depressed (LOL) in here since I can't write a depressing story when I'm happy. I know.. It's like cheating, but gah! This is my fanfic. **If you have the CD Wicked I suggest you listen to number 7 on that soundtrack. If not, try to get the song I'm Not That Girl or something.. The story will flow much better if you listen to that song.**

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. It is owned by the famous Rumiko Takahashi. The Song I'm Not That Girl is owned by Stephen Schwart. The song was sung by Idina Menzel for the Broadway production Wicked.

**I'm Not That Girl**

**-One-Shot Fanfiction-**

Dear Diary,

Today, I met the most perverted in all of Japan. He transferred from another school and came to my school for a reason which I don't know… yet. Anyways, he asked me to bear his child! And of course, like any other girl, I dropped my jaw to the floor, literally. And when I wasn't looking, he touched my butt! I felt so violated that I threw him off the 5th floor window of the school building and into the swimming pool. I felt guilty, but I reminded myself that he invaded my personal bubble so now I feel happy. I just hope that tomorrow he won't do anything like that again… else he'll know the consequence!

Takamada Sango

* * *

"Why, hello Takamada! What can I do for a beautiful girl like you today?"

"Kamiya, get off my desk."

Miroku got off Sango's desk and sat down at his seat right beside her.

"You know, Takamada-may I call you Sango?"

"No."

Miroku sighed. "What can I do to make you like me?"

Sango pulled out her text book from her book bag and placed it down harder than necessary onto the desk. She looked at Miroku angrily and replied, "If you don't annoy me then maybe I will … actually," Sango put a thoughtful look upon her face and then suddenly looked at Miroku. She said bluntly, "never."

As Sango sat down on her seat, Miroku asked calmly, "Are you made at me about yesterday?"

Sango gasped mockingly and said angrily, "Of course I am! You've invaded my personal privacy, asked me to bear your child, and constantly-yesterday and today-tried every little thing in the book to get me to like you!" Sango continued. "It gets really annoying so I insist that you drop it, Kamiya!"

Miroku leaned back in his chair. "Oh so that's the reason why," he said calmly.

Sango hissed, "Of course that's the reason."

Sango started at Miroku as he had a thoughtful expression placed upon his face. 'What is he thinking?' Sango wondered silently. That's when she noticed how handsome he was. He had high cheek bones, had dark chocolate hair which fell gently on his face, and had amazing violet eyes which completed his well sculptured face. 'Maybe if he wasn't such a pervert then I would have gone out with him.'

She came out of her daze when Miroku caught her staring at him. She blushed ten shades of red and looked out the window while Miroku grinned.

"Okay. Let's make a deal," proposed the low baritone voice.

Sango turned to the source of the voice and replied hesitantly, "What kind of deal?"

Miroku grinned and scooted to the edge of his seat, making himself closer to Sango. Instinctively, Sango moved back more on her seat, noting that Miroku was invading her personal bubble.

"I'll stop being perverted if you go out with me."

Sango's mouth dropped. Irritated by his proposition, she said exasperatingly, "No! Defiantly Not!"

Miroku pouted and sighed when Sango's angry expression did not change. "Then hang out with me like friends do."

Sango stared at Miroku. 'Like friends do? I hardly know him!' "What are you planning Kamiya? 'Cause whatever you planning," she crossed her arms stubbornly and continued, "I won't fall for it."

Miroku made a 'click' noise with his tongue and replied, "Alright. If you become my friend and chill with me this Friday night, then I promise to you-no matter what circumstance-that I will not-in Kami-sama's name-invade your bubble or cross the line between friendship and love… unless you would like to. Deal?"

Miroku held his handout to shake. Sango hesitantly looked at it and then at Miroku. What se saw in his eyes surprised her. 'He's not lying. He's really serious… but he could still be joking.'

Sango bit her lip and looked at the hand. She then took Miroku's rough into hers and said, "Deal."

Miroku smiled in satisfactory. He let go of Sango's hand and stood up from his seat, confusing Sango.

"Hello! My name is Kamiya Miroku. You may call me Miroku."

Sango smiled slightly and the gesture and followed, standing up from her seat. "My Name is Takamada Sango." She held out her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet your acquaintance."

Miroku took the hand and shook it firmly. Sango then felt her heart jump slightly at the contact, she hoped he didn't notice. She assumed he didn't since Miroku continued smiling and said, "The pleasure is all mine." Sango automatically found herself smiling in return. She then felt a shiver run up her spine and felt her cheeks burning slightly. She shook her head to get rid of the blush. The girl hated to admit it, but she knew from that moment onwards, she was falling for him. One reason why she loathed him. But how could you loathed someone if-at the same time-you were falling for that same person?

_Hands touch, eyes meet_

_Sudden silence, sudden heat_

_Hearts leap in a giddy whirl_

_He could be that boy_

_But I'm not that girl_

* * *

"Hello, my dear Sango!"

"Miroku, what the hell are you doing at this hour in front of my house!"

"You said I could bring you out today, so here I am!"

Sango blinked once. No. Twice. She asked bewilderedly, "I thought you were joking! I practically saw you two hours ago!"

"My dear dear Sango, why would I joke about something with such importance like that? Now," Miroku eyes Sango's home outfit and continued, "Why don't you invite me into your house while you go get ready?"

Sango had a disbelief look upon her face. 'Come on! Come up with an excuse!' "Ano.. I-I'm busy tonight, M-Miroku," She said stuttering. 'Real smoothe Sango!' she thought to herself.

She suddenly saw Miroku's eyes sadden and felt the guiltiness inside her blossom. 'Crap! What did I just do? Argh! What do I do?' Sango thought anxiously. She really wanted to say something to shatter the think silence, but all she could do was stare into Miroku's sorrowful eyes. She felt the guiltiness from before starting to unfold ten times faster, making her feel uneasy.

Not looking into the brown haired girl's eyes, Miroku finally replied unhappily, "I-I guess another time," he continued bitterly, "when you decide that when I'm serious about something, you don't think I'm joking about it."

Sango bit her lip. "Miroku-"

"Miroku finally looked at her and smiled forcefully, not bothering to cover the hurt in his eyes, "I'll see you later, Takamada." He then turned on his heels and started to walk away from Sango's house.

'Stop him stupid!'

"Miroku! Matte!" Sango yelled. She saw the boy stop in his tracks to turn around. She then ran up to his form and said, "Miroku, it's not like I thought you were joking." 'Yeah right' she thought. "It's just that you caught me off guard. I'm not use to having a friendship in a snap, slamming into my face with it expecting me to trust in that person or take that person seriously once I've met them." Sango sighed and continued, "I would love to hang out with you tonight.. Will you forgive for underestimating you or whatever that word is…?"

Miroku stared at Sango, scrutinizing her, making sure what she said was true. He then made a small smile and replied, "No. Forgive me." He sighed as she saw Sango's confused expression. He continued, "I should have put that thought into consideration before I acted like.. Well you know."

Sango smiled. "So, are we going to hang out tonight?"

Miroku laughed in delight. "Of course once you've changed! I'm sure you don't want to go out in your home clothes, hm?"

The girl blushed and turned around, walking towards the entrance door to her house. "Follow me."

The two soon stepped over the threshold and made a left to enter the living room. Sango smiled at Miroku and told him to make himself at home while she got ready.

As Sango made her way up the stairs, Miroku sat on the comfy white couch thinking to himself, 'Ironically, this hang out feels like a date.'

Miroku locked upon Sango's calm expression as they walked in the autumn Friday night back to Sango's house. He thought on how the evening went well. They first went out to eat then played paint ball. He unconsciously rubbed the spot on his arm where Sango shot him. Unfortunately, It was only one of the many spots that Sango bruised him. Luckily, Sango also sported several bruises on her that Miroku shot at.

"You know, maybe we should do this every Friday night. Just you and I hang out as friends." Sango said out of the blue, breaking the calming silence. She didn't feel awkward saying that sentence because, suddenly, she felt comfortable around Miroku. After what they did that evening, it felt as if she could trust him. She knew she shouldn't trust someone so easily, but she had a good feeling about him all of a sudden.

Miroku's handsome face lit up, but he was confused. Did his face lit up because he got to spend time with the girl he liked or because he wanted her to be his friend?

"Hmm.. I think that is a splendid idea! I like it. What an ingenious plan, Sango!" Miroku said with enthusiasm.

Sango laughed and Miroku continued, "Yeah.. And maybe you and I could switch off plans. For example," he then started to do hand gestures unconsciously, "One Friday night, you could plan that evening and the next Friday night, I plan that evening. You get my drift?"

Sango nodded her head thoughtfully as they walked to her house door, in complete content. "Alright, it's established. Every Friday it's Miroku and Sango night. I'll plan next Friday."

Miroku smiled at Sango and spoke, "Thanks for spending this Friday evening with me, mademoiselle."

Sango chuckled and replied happily, "What are friend for?"

Suddenly, Miroku kissed Sango's cheek. "Good night, Sango."

Sango blushed and touched the cheek Miroku kissed as she saw him leave. As she entered her house and then closed the door, she found herself dreaming of Miroku, of that kiss. She shook her head and said to herself aloud confidently, "Sango! Stop dreaming! It was only a friendly kiss!"

But did her mind agree with her heart?

_Don't dream to far_

_Don't lose sight of who you are_

_Don't remember that rush of joy_

_He could be that Boy_

_I'm not that girl

* * *

_

"I heard feeding the ducks with bread is bad."

Miroku eyed Sango amusingly as she toss the last piece of bread into the water. "If that's true then why are you throwing bread to the ducks?"

Sango's face turned red as she started at the sunset, hoping Miroku wouldn't see her face.

It's been a year since that night Miroku went to Sango's house for the first time, offering her to hang out with him that evening. Ever since then, they've been going out every Friday, much to both of their delight. As their friendship grew, Sango found herself falling for him, although she still disagrees that she is.

Miroku laughed at Sango's blush. He got up and brushed the dirt of his clothes. He asked the beautiful brown haired girl, "Are you ready to leave?"

Sango turned her head from the fiery sunset that blazed the sky with golden and red colors. She looked at Miroku's out stretched hand and put her small hands upon his automatically, pulling herself up from her sitting position. She suddenly felt a shiver fun down her spine and her heart beating fast. A sudden memory of the first time she touched Miroku's hand went flying across her mind. She felt the warmth of his rough hand grasping firmly around hers. She took an intake of breath as her eyes traveled from their tied hand, onto his chest, his neck, then his violet eyes. She felt herself drowning. She didn't know what was happening, but she soon found her self in Miroku's arms. Her hands circulating around his neck and his hands around her waste. She felt Miroku tighten his hold on her. It felt so perfect being in his arms. It felt as if his body was shaped just for her. As she felt Miroku's breath upon her lips, she imagined how he tasted; imagined if he would kiss her softly or passionately. She felt Miroku brush his lips upon hers then her eyes snapped open. What was she thinking! She forcefully pulled herself from Miroku's arms and looked at him bewildered. Miroku's violet eyes went wide as what he just did registered into his mind.

"I-I'm so sorry, Sango! I didn't mean-it just happened! I couldn't-I would never-fuck!" He ran a hand frustratingly through his brown hair and sighed.

Sango thought it was kind of cute. 'Stop thinking that!' "It's alright, Miroku. Just forget about it."

There was a great silence until the brown haired boy replied quietly, "What about if I don't want to forget?"

_Ev'ry so often we long to steal_

_To the land of what-might-have-been_

_But that doesn't soften the ache we feel_

_When reality sets back in  
_

_

* * *

_

"So, please tell your classmates about yourself."

"Well, as you all know, my name is Kristin Bell and I am an exchange student from America. I love traveling and learning new things. My favorite subject is History. I also enjoy reading and doing photography."

"Wow Sango! Isn't she something!"

Sango turned her head from the curly blonde girl to Miroku's drooling face. She said mockingly, "Well, I wouldn't know. I'm not gay."

The drooling boy went out of daze mode and replied in a matter-of-fact voice, "Now, my dear, Sango. After all the two years we have known each other, of course I would know if you were gay or what not… are you gay?" Sango snorted at Miroku's reply. He continued, "But really, Sango, that blonde hair girl… she really looks amazing."

Unexpectedly, the pink eyed girl found her heart clenching at Miroku's comment as she watched him stare directly again at the new foreign exchange student. It was the first in a long time that, Takamada Sango, best friend of Kamiya Miroku, was jealous of a stranger.

But, why was she jealous? The seventeen year old girl hated to admit it, but while biting her lip unconsciously, she dreaded the fact that Miroku actually liked this new girl. Shouldn't this moment make her happy? Miroku will finally find someone who will maybe love him in return. He will stop, finally, going after her. A sudden thought, unexpectedly, flew through Sango's mind. What if he already stopped liking her? What about if he stopped liking her a long time ago, and just thinks of her as a friend? Yes, she should be happy, jumping for joy, but why did she feel so disappointed? So down? Suddenly, it felt as if being happy just flew out the window. 'And it feels like it won't be coming back for a very long time.' She thought as she jealously looked at the golden haired girl standing in front of the classroom.

"Hmmm… ah! You can sit in front of Kaimya! Kamiya, please raise your hand."

Sango saw Miroku's face lit up-much to her distaste-and he raised his hand enthusiastically. She then saw the girl walking up to her seat in front of Miroku, disliking the fact that she sat across diagonally from her. Sango smiled forcefully, covering the disgust she held for the new girl as she sat down.

"Hi. I'm Kamiya Miroku. Welcome, to Shikon High."

The new girl turned around in her seat to face Miroku and Sango. She smiled shyly and said cheerfully, "Hello Kamiya. May I call you Miroku?"

Miroku grinned. "If that is what you wish."

Kristin giggled and turned to face Sango, much to Sango's dismay. "Hello. I'm Kristin Bell as you already know. You can call me Kristin if you like."

'Oh I would rather not.' "Thanks. My name is Takamada Sango. You can call me Sango," Sango said with her voice coming out to sweetly then necessary, though no one took notice.

"Hey Kristin? Do you take any gymnastics or ballet?" Miroku asked curiously.

Kristin's blue eyes lit up as she said excitedly, "Yes. I do ballet! I've dance since I was four. How did you know I did such a thing?"

Miroku laughed. "I can tell by the way you walk gracefully and how beautiful you and that smile of yours is."

Sango tried to ignore the scene, but she couldn't. She felt her heart twitch and she bit her lip, starting at the scene unfolding right before her eyes. She knew it was happening. She could see it clearly. They both were falling for each other and fast. Sadly, all she could do was watch. She didn't know yet, but gradually, her life was becoming worse piece by piece. Unfortunately, it started as soon as Kristin Bell came.

* * *

"Thanks, Sango. I'm glad you understand this very important situation. My life is at stake here."

"I'm sure it is." Sango said sarcastically and laughed forcefully through the phone. "Now, stop talking to me, Miroku! Your soon-to-be-girlfriend is waiting!"

Miroku chuckled through the phone and replied, "Your right as always. Thanks for giving up out Sango and Miroku Friday night for me. Kristin would be upset if her friend didn't come to her ballet recital."

'Would you care if I'm thinking right now how upset I am for you going to Kristin's thing instead of our night out?' Sango thought bitterly. She replied to Miroku slowly, "Yeah."

"Okay, wish me luck!" The boy said cheerfully, unknowingly of the feeling Sango felt.

Sango gulped. She was hoping that luck wouldn't run tonight, but as a frien- 'I'm only a friend to him and he puts that Bell girl before a person he knew for practially two years? What a joke.' She thought jealously.

"Alright. Good luck." She said smoothly, lying through her teeth.

There was a pause.

"You're the best, Sango."

Sango heard a click and the line went dead. She placed the phone back where it belonged and sighed.

'Why am I so Jealous? It was never like this before. Why now? And it's not like Miroku is my only friend out there. But, then, why do I feel so… lonely? Alone? Betrayed?'

Sango was getting second thoughts. Maybe Miroku only acted as her friend because he thought she was beautiful and he knew he couldn't have her. So he settled for only having her for a friend. Now, since the new girl came in, he doesn't need her anymore. Maybe he was using her all this time. Maybe it was all an act from the start. Yes, it made absolute sense. Although, the sense was logical, she kept on telling herself that it might be wrong. She would only now if she asked Miroku. 'Like that would ever happen.'

* * *

Ever since that night Miroku went to Kristin's ballet performance, the thoughts of Sango's second thoughts soon, gradually, became larger as the weeks past. Soon Miroku and Sango stopped talking and hanging out with each other. They even stopped going out every Friday night since those nights consisted of only Miroku and Kristin making Sango upset. Basically, they avoided each other. Sango defiantly had her reasons, but what were Miroku's? She wanted to hate him, loathe him, but how oculd she if she loved him?

'What an absurd idea!' Sango thought one night while dong her homework in her room. But, as the weeks passed on, she soon started to realize she could never hate Miroku. She then soon, with a tiny step each day, began to talk to him once again. She knew their relationship would dramatically change-heck it already has-,but that did not stop her. The more she started to hang out with Miroku, the more Kristin grew on Sango. Jealously shortly stopped running through Sango's blood and very soon, the two girls became best friends.

Sadly, still, Sango's heart had a very huge void, which could only be filled by a very special guy. A guy named Miroku… and Sango hated the fact that he was the only one who could.

_Blithe smile, lithe limb_

_She who's winsome, she wins him_

_Gold hair with a gentle curl_

_That's the girl he chose_

_And heaven knows_

_I'm not that girl…

* * *

_

'Dear Diary,

Do you hate that feeling when your so close to something.. so close that you can literally touch it and you do.. but you know your so far away.. so so far away... and your heart not just only longs for the touch... that single touch... but that persons heart?

..Oh gosh it's killing me..

Oh you might I'm some foolish teenager going through what teenagers go through but... if I am... why do I ache so much?

I'm tired of it all! I know he will never return the feelings I hold for him deeply. My heart is crushed every time I think about it.. he does not love me.. he does not love me..

it's like a record that keeps on skipping in my head... it does not stop!

Sometimes I look forward to my dreams at night... I sometimes dream that I am in his arms... or just holding hands with him.. or just talking, smiling, and laughing with him.

People always say there are so many people out there.. one of them has to be made for you.. what about if this one.. this person.. is the one for me? Am I hoping for too much?

Whenever I see him... I can't help but talk to him. It's like something I thrive on or something. I always tell myself that... well.. that I don't need him. I always tell myself why should I fall head over heels for him if he does not notice me?

Whenever he talks.. I'm always smiling. Whenever he smiles and laughs, I melt inside.

Is this how to feels to fall in love with your best friend...?

It took so much time for me to figure out how much I love him. Yes, I love Kamiya Miroku. And it hurts like hell. It really hurts so much to watch my best friend and the one I love be together. I feel one part of myself burning passionately to hate Kristin and another part of me happy that Miroku found her. God, it's like torture. Just watching them becoming closer… watching it unfold through my very eyes. But, I must move on. I want this chapter of my life to be finished. I want to stop trying to hide my face. I know that even if I try to move on, even if I try to let my past go, sometimes you find yourself thinking back at what could have happened… what you did wrong… and it really saddens you because it will always stay just as 'enough' and never 'more than enough'. You can only hope, dream, wish and have faith, but deep down, you know it will never happen.

I don't really want to forget him and I know he left a scar on me… a scar that I hope will never fade away no matter the circumstance, no matter how bad or how good the scar is.

Kristin and Miroku belong with each other. Heck, they both deserve it… especially Miroku.

Sometimes I find myself jealous of Kristin. Not just with her relationship with Miroku, but how beautiful and talented she is. I could never be like her, but at the same, I'm glad to have a friend like her… even if she is with the guy I love.'

Wet blobs started to appear onto the paper, coming down slowly, then soon faster, smudging the ink. Sango sobbed quietly, and remembered a verse from a song she knew when she was young. She laughed bitterly as the tears fell, ironically thinking how the verse fitted with the situation. She wrote and sung the lyrics quietly with her hoarse voice cracking,

' "_Don't wish, don't start_

_Wishing only wounds the heart_

_I wasn't born for the rose and pearl_

_There's a girl I know_

_He loves her so…"_ '

As Sango closed her diary, she choked on her sobs, imagining Miroku and Kristin together.

"I'm not.. that girl."

**A/N: **Hoped you liked the story.. Even if it is a sad ending.. Please press that little blue button down there that says 'submit and review' or whatever it's called. Oh yeah forgive me if I had any spelling mistakes or bad grammar…

Until then… later!

Kimusume Kaoru


End file.
